Post your best jokes here!!

Racism? Dirty? Clean? I wanna know what the rate is.

heh heh how do you kill a blonde? A: put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Cleoheart wrote:

heh heh how do you kill a blonde? A: put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Hey that almost killed me once! lol

Ok this is my prized joke no i didnt make it up but alot of ppl havent heard of it so i use it lol:
Ya mums so fat she broke the family tree

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

I guess I'm going blonde.
There's a blond chick who goes to hell along with one math and science teacher. The devil m says I will ask you a question. Fail and your coming with me. Succeed and you get a second chance. The devil asks the science and math teachers science and math questions. They get a second chance. Then the devil asks the blond a question and she days. Wait lemme ask YOU a question. She pokes three holes in a chair. Then farts through one hole. Which hole did I fart out of. The devil says. Ey... The middle one. Then the blond says. No my butthole.

Nice ones^

WARNING IF UNDERAGE TO NOT READ FURTHER!


Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.

Tim the smexi wrote:

Ok this is my prized joke no i didnt make it up but alot of ppl havent heard of it so i use it lol:
Ya mums so fat she broke the family tree

Ahahahah!!

Haha that made my night